“Everyone gossips,” says Frank McAndrew, a professor of psychology in the United States while talking to NBC News. He discusses a new study that determines how much humans gossip and how it affects them socially – and how there is a right way to do it.
McAndrew said that people who gained social knowledge (aka gossiped) were far ahead than people who were not interested. People who didn’t indulge in discussing other people “were not good at attracting and keeping mates or maintaining alliances.”
Women tend to engage in more neutral gossip than men
Gossip isn’t “inherently bad,” he suggested and in a study with 467 adults over two-five days, researchers came to a conclusion on how to gossip the right way. They recorded conversations that these people had, and classified anything they heard about a person who was not there as gossip. It was coded as positive, negative or neutral. The data suggested that almost everyone gossiped (only 34 out of 467 individuals did not gossip at all) and majority of the gossip (75 percent) was neutral. Women engaged in more neutral gossip than men.
According to psychologists, a “good gossiper” is a person who is trusted with information and uses it in a responsible way. For example, telling a friend information that might save them from a bad investment or a bad marriage. A bad gossiper shares information in order to get ahead or to be plain malicious, discussing a person’s shortcomings or trouble in their lives for the sake of talking.
Hit program based on an anonymous gossip girl
To be a good gossiper:
1. Think twice
Are you breaking someone’s trust by giving away this information or stabbing them in the back? Are you doing it responsibly for valid reasons?
2. Don’t gossip for personal gain
If you have something to gain by releasing information about someone else, don’t do it. You most likely are not doing it for the right reasons
3. Don’t distort facts
Do not exaggerate, add details or change the story. If you have to tell a story, tell it exactly how it happened
Plenty of dramas nowadays are openly discussing infidelity and cheating in relationships – a topic which has long been brushed under the carpet, as “mard ki bhool” or “sab mard kartay hain”, it’s okay. This leads to the bigger question: Why do people cheat in relationships?
Recently, blogger Hira Mannan of The Mewly Weds also opened up about being cheated on and a lot of other people also came forward, spoke about their experiences and the concept of cheating in relationships.
The Current asked Lahore-based psychotherapist Omer Tauseef to shed some light on the topic and here are the reasons he gave:
Concept of masculinity – Men have the pressure to perform and there is a sense of conquest along with peer pressure.
Invisible divorces – Marriages in our society are often forced (khandaan ki izzat), because of which there is little or no compatibility between the couple. As a result, people go for relationships outside of a marriage and these empty shell marriages remain for the kids or for financial reasons.
Self-discovery, thrill, sense of entitlement
Marriages are kept for children, responsibilities while lust is channeled into an affair.
To be real, cheating husbands is not an alien concept. Most women will accept behind closed doors that their partners, spouses etc have cheated but they have always been advised to brush it under the carpet and forget about it as “mard ki bhool.” However, things are now slowly changing and more women are coming forward with their stories and more and more dramas are being churned out on the topic.
Blogger Hira Mannan who runs the blog The Mewly Weds recently opened up about being cheated on. Hira’s story sent waves of shock across social media because everyone thought she had the perfect married life.
Taking to Twitter, Hira posted a long thread on how her husband started cheating on her just a few months after their marriage. She said she had no idea how many women her husband had been with but all she knew was that he was on Tinder.
She said this went on for more than a year before she decided to join the dating app herself to experiment. She also shared a screenshot of her account.
Hira then went onto say that she and her husband were a fairly popular couple and it hurts her to think that those who had seen them “goofing around” must have laughed at her for not knowing what her husband was upto behind her back. She added that no one came forward to tell her about her husband’s actions and how it irks her that society protects men.
Hira then went onto share another incidence of her husband’s infidelity and even shared screenshots of her husband chatting with his mistress because “accountability should go both ways.”
Hira revealed that she became pregnant but soon miscarried because of the stress and anxiety. She said that she developed body image issues and was in a constant spiral of depression and even became suicidal.
Hira’s story was met with an outpour of support for her.
It was so painful to even read all your posts. Cant even imagine what you must have gone through. We live in a shitty world may Allah make things easier for you.
I am so sorry. What you went through is nothing less than traumatizing. I am glad you spoke up and got help. Stay strong. It will get better. I know it doesn’t feel like that right now but it will. Hug.
More power to you. I’m sorry you had to go through this and May you reach the right decision about your future. Whatever you decide, you will be fine because you’re strong.
So we are well into the first term of the school year. The excitement is slowly wearing off and energy levels in the morning are not so high anymore (as if they ever were!), and I have started DREADING the morning routine which has now become a blur between breakfast and running out the door. Putting together the school lunchbox for my boys’, aged 6 and 3, is probably THE most difficult task of the day.
In this article, I will share tips and tricks I use for quick and healthy snacks and lunches to suit all types of eaters.
Tip 1: Don’t be afraid of leftovers
Leftovers from dinner the night before are actually lifesavers! Whether it’s daal chaawal (lentils and rice) or chicken saalan curry, if you learn the art of presentation, your kids can eat a full meal in school.
For anything rice-based like chaawal qeema I use the insulated Thermos Food jars. These keep the food warm and fresh until lunch break and act as a bowl to help my kids eat without making a mess.
On days that I have leftover chicken or any other curry, I just take out the meat, wash away the curry and mash it up with mayonnaise to make a chicken sandwich or paratha roll and voila, I have a meal.
And our personal favourite is leftover PIZZA!
Tip 2: Use pasta as an alternative to rice
Giving rice more than 2 times a week means getting rice back in their lunch box. The best alternative to this is pasta or noodles. My quick and easy go-to pasta recipe is:
Boil the pasta a night before along with boiled chicken (with a dash of salt and pepper)
Store it in the fridge
The next morning, warm up a helping of pasta and chicken. Add butter generously and you have Butter Pasta with Chicken for lunch.
Once again, give this in a steel jar or box to keep it warm and fresh and soft.
Tip 3: Make heavy snacks
Let’s address the parents who were rolling their eyes in the above section because their kids would NEVER touch rice or anything they have eaten the night before. Some kids just need more snack-based meals and there’s no reason to think these can’t be healthy and proper meals that can also be prepared quickly and easily first thing in the morning. On days I have not boiled rice or pasta in advance I am saved by BREAD.
Two slices of bread covered generously in butter with a slice of cheddar cheese is my two-minute sandwich.
However, to make this a little more substantial I add anything and everything from the fridge that I know my kids will eat. These can include:
Turkey slices to give that dose of protein (but I would only recommend this once in two weeks as turkey is processed meat).
Those Shaami Kebabs that us desi moms always have stored in our freezers is a great addition also.
(Extra tip: I use my beloved Air Fryer to save frying time in the morning. I just have to defrost the kebabs in the microwave and put them in the air fryer while I get the kids ready. If you don’t have the option of an air fryer, you can fry them the night before and heat them up in the morning to save time).
Homemade or store-bought frozen chicken or beef burger patties with ketchup and mayonnaise on burger buns to make a yummy burger.
(Extra tip: Add vegetables only if your kids enjoy them and only the ones they prefer. You don’t want a perfectly good burger going to waste!)
Tip 4: Eggs are your best friend
Generally, my kids eat scrambled eggs in the morning. But on days I need to give them eggs for lunch (because I have nothing else in the fridge), I give them cereal or croissants for breakfast. And then I use eggs to make the following lunches:
Fry an egg. Toast 2 slices of bread and put butter on both. Grab a slice of cheese. Put them together to make the easiest egg sandwich.
Make two slices of French Toast and add some cheese slices in the box to make it a substantial meal.
Boil eggs during the weekend. Mash. Add salt, pepper and mayonnaise. Store the mixture in the fridge for upcoming school mornings to make a different kind of egg sandwich.
2 minute Egg Quiche: Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a mug. Add 1 egg, 2 tablespoon milk, salt and pepper, any other topping like spinach or tomatoes or turkey. Place broken bread on top and dip it in so it’s wet. Microwave for 2 minutes. Once done scoop it out in one whole piece.
Egg Quiche
Tip 5: Add small bites for a full stomachs
Rice, pasta, sandwich, burgers, paratha rolls – we have covered our grains here. But my kids need more favours and fun things to keep them going during the day.
There are many snacks one can give such as biscuits, chips and cakes. But under the health policy in our schools, chips, chocolates and anything with frosting is a no-no.
I mostly alternate between the following snacks for my kids as I know they will actually eat them.
Others: Plain Cake, Cheese Sticks, Crackers and Cheese, Plain Biscuits
An alternative for kids who don’t enjoy fruits are:
Banana cupcakes
Apple Crumble
Blueberry Muffins
Healthy alternatives for chips are cereals or crackers. I give my boys protein cereals or cheddar crackers for them to nibble at during snack or lunchtime.
Apart from that, I am also a firm believer of water versus juices as they too contain a large amount of sugar. But sometimes when I feel like the food and snacks will not be enough I add flavoured milk or juice for some extra energy. This way they are not weighted by oil or heavy sugars and spend an active day.
Hope these tips help you during rushed mornings for the rest of the remaining term and you are able to feel better about your children’s lunch menu in school!
Zunaira is the author of a blog called From Dresses To Diapers. The part-time blogger and full-time mommy can be reached at her Instagram account.
Tucked inside Sui Northern Officers Co-Operative Housing Society, Déjà by Khadija is a cute little bakery café. Decorated in pink, gold and grey, this cosy café’s décor and the presentation of their dishes set a good impression.
Now let’s discuss food! We tried their sharing platter, which was quite delectable and filling. The taco parathas were yummy, as were the assorted bread, especially the one with white sauce in it, but the aalu chaat was not all that great. While the chicken strips were nice, they could have been better. The mozzarella sticks with sauce were great but the assorted fries were so-so, especially the wedges.
Sharing Platter
We also tried the K’s Style Chicken Parm – it was well cooked and the sauce wasn’t too acidic though we do think they could have added a bit more parmesan. The Open Lamb Sandwich was also very well made with soft meat, which wasn’t smelly. It was served with sauce, didn’t taste too meaty and the cabbage was paired well with it.
Meanwhile, the Baked Marinara could have been better but as an afterthought, it wasn’t all that bad. We absolutely loved the Mushroom Toast. It had just the right amount of mushrooms, and the chilli scrambled eggs were just perfect. We highly recommend that if you love eggs!
Baked Marinara
Mushroom on Toast
What we really enjoyed were the drinks which were presented in a very fun way; they reminded you of Chemistry Lab at school. The ice-cube with rose petals was also a nice touch. Strawberry Lemon Potion was nice with the right amount of tangy and strawberry juice. Strawberry Slammer is also lovely.
Strawberry Lemon Potion
Coming onto the desserts now. Déjà also serves homemade ice-cream. We tried their chocolate ice-cream, which was nice but very creamy. Their gurr (jaggery) ice-cream wasn’t good; too much aftertaste of butter or cream and minimum taste of gurr.
Meanwhile, their French Toast is excellent – it was soft and crispy and the caramel sauce that comes with it was delicious. The best part was that they didn’t skimp on it like a lot of other places. After Amu and Aylanto, this is another place that makes really good French Toast in Lahore.
Off-the-counter Mango Cheesecake was meh (5 out of 10) – it was more like mousse than a cheesecake. But the Apple Pie slice was good (7 out of 10).
Overall, Déjà was a good experience because of the nice and cutesy ambience. They serve good portion sizes for a reasonable cost, which is a major plus point (Per person cost comes to Rs 1500). If the owner is around, she ensures that you feel welcomed and are properly taken care of. However, we do wish the chairs were comfier; it felt like a ‘grab your food, quickly eat and go’ place. Or maybe – given the shortage of space – this is their aim at the moment.
We recommend that everyone should try out this place as you get value for your money and the ambience makes it different from the rest of your restaurant experiences. Just keep in mind that it is a small place with very few tables so if you’re a large group, either reserve a table in advance or otherwise be ready to wait.
Major Adeel Shahid, a Pakistan Army Officer, who embraced martyrdom in an IED explosion on Friday, was married to a martyr’s widow.
According to details, a resident of Karachi, the officer was married to the widow of his coursemate, Captain Mujahid Bashir Shaheed, who had sacrificed his life for the country a few years ago. Major Adeel also adopted his daughter who was born a few months after her father’s demise.
Major Adeel was martyred when an IED planted by terrorists went off near the Afghan border in Mohmand district of Khyber Paktunkhwa.
The father of 1.5-year-old twin daughters was laid to rest in Karachi on Saturday. Social media users took to Twitter to salute the widow who had sacrificed her loved one for the country.
Major Adeel’s last visit to Karachi had been on Eid-ul Azha and he reportedly spoke to his father just two days before he was martyred.
Following multiple deaths in the province due to rabies, the Sindh Government has ordered mayors, municipal commissioners and other officials to start immediate and effective campaigns for the culling of stray dogs in the province.
According to reports, as many as 13 people, including men, women and mostly children, have lost their lives in Sindh due to rabies encephalitis, a deadly infectious disease caused by a rabid dogs, this year, while as many as 135,000 people have been attacked and bitten by stray dogs in Sindh, including Karachi.
However, the issue gained momentum after a video of a 10-year-old boy who passed away in his mother’s lap due to full-blown rabies in the Larkana district, went viral on social media. The public and media bitterly criticised the provincial government for failing to control the population of stray dogs and arrange anti-rabies vaccine (ARV) for those who are bitten.
In a notification, the Sindh Local Government Department directed local bodies authorities to launch an “effective and well-coordinated campaign” in their areas on a top priority basis.
Officials of the health department said they had been urging the authorities to direct the elimination of stray dogs for a long time but owing to pressure from animal rights campaigners, no decision had been taken.
Meanwhile, Sindh Director General Health Dr Masood Solangi said that he was satisfied with the decision because it was difficult for Pakistan, being a poor country, to afford the expensive anti-rabies vaccine and vaccinate hundreds of thousands of people who become victim to stray dogs every year in the province. He added that the vaccine is imported from India and due to political tensions, the supple of the vaccine is affected.
The dates of Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton’s visit to Pakistan have been announced.
According to Kensington Palace’s official Twitter handle, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will be visiting Pakistan from October 14-18.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will attend a special event at the Aga Khan Centre on 2nd October, hosted by His Highness The Aga Khan.
The event falls ahead of TRH’s official visit to Pakistan, which will take place between 14th – 18th October. pic.twitter.com/fc0ZyuyLKs
— The Prince and Princess of Wales (@KensingtonRoyal) September 20, 2019
The announcement also said that before their visit, the royal couple will attend a special event at the Aga Khan Centre in London on October 2, which will be hosted by His Highness The Aga Khan.
The announcement of William and Kate’s visit to Pakistan was first announced in late June. This is their first trip to Pakistan and the first royal trip to the country in more than a decade.
Meanwhile, the Foreign Office welcomed the decision and said that they look forward to their visit.
Government and the people of Pakistan look forward to the visit of the Royal couple to Pakistan next month.
Pakistan and the UK enjoy deep and cordial relationship. The visit will provide yet another opportunity to further strengthen the bilateral relations.
— Ministry of Foreign Affairs – Pakistan (@ForeignOfficePk) September 20, 2019
A two-month bear cub is on the loose after it escaped its cage at the Peshawar Zoo.
According to media reports, the cub was in a cage with its mother when one of the caretakers left the door open and the cub escaped.
Both the mother and baby had been brought to the zoo from Dir a few days ago. They had been confiscated by the wildlife department at a check post in Upper Dir a few days ago because they were being illegally brought from Afghanistan.
The zoo administration believes that the cub is still inside the zoo and are examining CCTV footage to locate it. The cub hasn’t been seen in footage of the zoo’s exit points.
There is currently some renovation work going on at the zoo and a lot of heavy machinery inside. Officials believe the cub could be hiding there somewhere.
An inquiry has also been ordered and the management of the zoo has been directed to register FIR.
While the cub doesn’t pose a threat to anyone, the zoo administration made announcements about its disappearance via local mosques.
We all love Downton Abbey and have always wondered what it would be like to live in that world. Well, here is your chance to do just that.
The iconic mansion from the hit British show has now been listed on Airbnb and will be open to a select number of people for a one-night stay.
Highclere Castle, England, is the location used in Downton Abbey. The castle’s owner, the Countess of Carnavon, has listed her home on Airbnb for one night only on November 26. This majestic mansion has 300 rooms and dates back to the 17th Century. You can book it on Airbnb for $159 per night!
“You will get the opportunity to explore iconic rooms you know so well from Downton Abbey, such as the Drawing Room and the Library,” Lady Carnavon writes in her listing. “For one night, you can follow in the footsteps of kings and queens and enjoy life as a Lord or Lady to celebrate the upcoming motion picture event, Downton Abbey.”
According to the Guardian, the guests will also join the earl and countess for evening cocktails in the saloon followed by a traditional dinner in the state dining room, waited on by the castle’s own butler.
After dinner, coffee will be served in the library before the guests retire to one of the principal bedrooms with an en-suite bathroom and views over 400 hectares (1,000 acres) of rolling parkland.
“Throughout the stay, Lord and Lady Carnarvon will immerse the guests in the rich history and heritage of Highclere Castle with a private tour of the castle, the Highclere estate,” the advert says.
While the room is listed as coming with a hairdryer and shampoo, it will not have wifi or a TV.
The listing says that the applicants must be verified Airbnb users with good customer reviews. The application period begins on October 1.
So if you’re a Downton Abbey fan and are travelling to Britain at the end of November, don’t miss your chance to stay at the beautiful manor.
